A paraprosdokian (from Greek "ðáñá-", meaning "beyond" and "ðñïóäïêßá", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. (Wikipedia)
* I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
* Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
* We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
* Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
* How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
* A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify: " I put "DOCTOR".
* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
* The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
* Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
* When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
* You're never too old to learn something stupid.
* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
* Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
* A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Shared by a friend but thought genealogists would enjoy reading it. I think that is a term we should consider in our research. :>)
Credit to whom ever created it. It was not I.